I've shifted to...Moi noir,blanc et rougue livre croquis, please redirect your link again...I am really really really sorry for the in convenience...so sorry...
Saturday, April 9, 2005
Freaking out now...My canvas art piece haven't finish yet & my preparetory work too, what am I supposed to do? I got to hand in die die by this thursday...Hope I could finish my canvas by today...Anyway I think I have been slacking too much, I must stop this once & for all...Ganbatte work hard! Study hard! Reach my goal,my aim and for my hapiness must get into that polytechnic no matter what! For that special someone sacrifices are nothing to me, if I can't get into it I must as well quit studying and get a job...But all I wanna do is to be a simple free lance designer and nothing more, a job which I can earn a living...Satisfy my daily needs and some simple stuffs I want. Sometimes I think I am really stupid to do these things, I don't know why? Lord can you tell me why? Why am I so confused now? Thinking over it I think it's really really stupid, don't know to laugh or to cry. Can we considered as friends? I think not even that...We didn't even talk much no...no...It can be said as we never ever talked... I know it's really stupid as I am so damn ugly, always putting on that stupid attitude look, but that is what I am the enviroment made me to what I am...I got a "complicated" past somewhat, maybe no it's never, we are never meant for each other I was the unlucky one to have feelings for him. It's almost been 2 years I have have a crush on him, it's a waste of time I know... But it's really really hard to forget him, because he keeps on appear infront of me...Sometimes his face appears in my dreams my mind but why? It's really painful a mental tourture to me...There are many conclusion
<1>He did not even cared
<2>He had feelings for me at first but has faded
<3>Till now he still have feelings for me...But the most probable one is no. <1>...There was never never us or friends.Yeah it's stupid, I hope someone, someone could appear one day to hold my hand, and make me not look back...
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
It can be a tiring day today, I woke up at about 8am...And I slept about 5am++. Because I was playing Ragnarok online from 2am. About 9am I went back to my home and get changed, and eventually sleep for more than 1/2 an hour. I rushed back and went out, went to Novena first then to Tampines. Actually I did not want to go because I felt awkard I am the only girl there somewhat of an uninvited guest but in the end I went. Anyway I bought two Ragnarok daily acess card, now waiting for my friends to come online...Hmm...Maybe I should get some rest? Oh and finally my cousin enjoyed listening to Jrock, so what can I say I did a well job psyco-ing my cousin to take up a liking on Jrock. And today well, I guess God has finally answered my prayers and wishes...But will this wish stay forever or it is just an illusion?
Sunday, August 8, 2004
Yosh!~ I am back again yea? I got good news to tell...Firstly I passed my math block test, but need alot of improvement, passed my science...Chemistry and Physics but alot room to much more improvement!~ Also I got little more socialble to my schoolmates hopefully soon I would not be left out or a loner anymore...I really dislike having the feeling of being one, because I feel so lost very lost...Anyway there is also bad news, I gotta finish my art course work...geez it's gonna be a very hard time for me, and got alot of quarrels lately don't wanna say about it. Life gotta move on right? Maybe? Yeah guess so I have these all for today...be back blogging sometime.
Wednesday, August 4, 2004
Hi there blog...I did not expected I would be back blogging in a day time, anyway yesterday got a really big quarrel with my mum and she almost shifted out...Fortunately we got back to normal by this morning before I go for tuition!~ Hmmm...Finally updated the background I made long time ago! SO happy about it! Hope you all like it...The happy thing is that I managed to get my Malice Mizer Merveilles CD, which I waited for a very long time to get it! Anyway busy right now I got a war to fight...A virus war I have to kill it before it infects my aunt's computer!~ LOLx *Hops off*
Sunday, July 25, 2004
Hi bloggie I am back again... So today it's saturday, actually wanted to go to IMM with my mother but there are many complications in the end we did not go. So anyway now I am at Jue Ru's house (my close friend in school), waiting for her we are getting August babies present. Hopefully, the presents we get is in our budget. Hmmm...This week I am trying to sort up things in my brain, school, friends,life and love life...Eh...I don't have love life, I just have a crush on someone till now I can't forget, soemtimes I thought about it I feel like crying...but I think it's stupid right? My close friend and friends told me to tell him about it but, I think it's stupid, because I don't really know him...In the end if I really did told him I would be avoided, felt awkard or even being mocked at. o that all I can think off... Gotta go now so cya maybe tomorrow yeah?
Saturday, July 24, 2004
Seems that every weekend no matter, whether it's saturday or sunday there will sure be quarrels & conflicts with my mum or some other stuffs. Late for tuition today,& after that my aunt got a conflict with my mum about some tuition crap stuffs,her point of view is -> if I stop tuition it maybe better because I could learn something I am interested in like drumming, guitaring, Japanese courses or clothes making. But awhile later my mum said that she said that she don't want me to go tuiton because I am no use I can't study, must well let my big cousin to have tuiton, and also heard that she said I spoil the televsion here. What the hell!!! Now I just don't wanna think about it anymore making me sick and tired about it, the more I think I think I will explode sooner than I thought I would...This sucks! And is it so hard for me to have my own room own bedroom, It's sooooo sickerning to listen my mum say she wanna tidy up the "rubbish" room so that soon it would be my bedroom. I think until the day I married or maybe I shift out I could not even get my own room done tidied.I know it's tiring to help me tidy up the room, so I wanted to tidy it myself the problem there is so many huge JUNK I could not even shift it myself. Am I asking too much? All I want is a room for myself with my own decorations my own design, I just wish that I could have a room of my own I could do whatever with it......
Sunday, July 11, 2004
Got $100 dollars, from my cousin and aunt yesterday...So went for alittle shopping with my mum. I bought a Gothic and Lolita bible no. 5 the clothes advertised were very adorable and elegant yet expensive. Mum spent alot, she bought two strudles for me one straberry and apple both are in halves. So after all that I dutched for my mum's and aunt's dinner which is taken away. When return home after dinner got a little conflict with my mum, but after that it's ok. Anyway the happy thing is that my mum is staying overnight with me today...Argh something is irritating me, off I go now...For some waxing!~ Au Revoir!~
Friday, June 25, 2004
Going back to sleep soon, because later there is tuition and I don't wanna fall asleep. Anyway went out yesterday, and then met a friend to have dinner, wanting to pay but he say he wants small change so I kept the money. Then after that wanted to return him but he say that it's his treat, then hmmm thanks alot domo arigato gozaimasta ne!~ Hmmm so I came back I got serious tummy crap, I lied on bed and slept with the pain... Lucky my aunt gave me panadols x2 and it help me relieved it. Anyway I woke up at 4++ a.m. and did some laundry because of something, after that played alittle of neopets and I called my mum. She said she is comming down here again I am so happy, and she told me to go back to sleep. So now I am going to sleep, I am mummy's girl...(*pukes*)
Suddenly thought about two person...
I wanted to contact but dared not...
LOLx which is my shopping conpanion...
Another one is someone who hurts me alot...
Yet I still can't forget him...
I hate myself for this...
Sunday, June 20, 2004
Sometimes I think too much...Lately I have alots of pestimistic thoughts, death and dying stuffs. I think death is a weird thing it's either a full stop or can be full of other theories. Nah don't want to think about it anymore I really freaks me out. Now I am still living at my aunt's house it's real cool here, in the afternoon I close all the windows and off all the lights except the toilet one, and it is seriously dark inside real cool. I felt tired then and fell asleep. The happiest thing is that I haven't seen my mum for about 2 days and I got to see her today, the sad thing is that she have to go of about 9:30++ pm before that I really clinged on to her like kola bear but she can't handle my weight...Anyway later my aunt asked me if I wanna follow her to get some stuff in her house so I say "OK...", my other aunt came and fetch me and my aunt to her house(By the way the house was previously rent out to my aunt's friend a male), it was quite fun there I looked around the house with my Baby cousin. The biggest mistake I did was to open a drawer, I did not really notice and I close it back again. My cousin then ask me what as that, then I open the drawer and saw a box of c-----, then I just smacked it close and I just say "Let go to the other rooms!"(-_-"")...Anyway there is lots of stuff the previous owner left behind thats why. The most outrages thing is that the previous owner left a packt of ginseng in fridge, I did not know about that then I opened it and it SERIOUSLY SMELLS my other cousin also smelt it too LOLx...OK I think that all in my pea brain be back blogging tomorrow or so...
Saturday, June 19, 2004
*Yawns* Still tired...Slept late yesterday yet I woke up so early I woke up at about 7:30a.m. and called my mum, coz' I am at my aunt's house and it's real cool staying here. Unlike my apartment I am staying in so hot and stuffy and not able to sleep at night, now everything here is cool. I get to sleep with aircon, not that I dun wanna on my aircon at home just that it short circuit the whole house everytime I use it!~ So happy able to use the computer till so late...LOLZ whole night and morning I was chatting with my friends. And oh yeah, on thursday I am going out plus my aunt is also going to Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur so I maybe having her room to myself cool right? Envy me ne!~ I think thats all yap!~ Ja ne!~
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Really tired today...Can't sleep at home, too hot sweat all night. But at least I used the time to write some crappy stuffs, feel like sleeping now. Anyway I got a quarrel with my mum so sick of it, instead of a cutter kinfe I used a sissors to scratch instead of cut because the sissors in not sharp enough. So anyway feeling sleepy now, don't know if I have the time to sleep because very soon I gonna have tuition...Oh anyway I wrote something the other other day, so share this with all of you ok!~
It really hurts to look at you
Like a dagger in your hands
Piercing it slowly through my heart
Causing me much pain and suffering
Because when I looks at you
My feeling accumilates again
Like a glass
With water filled to the brim
Just another drop it overspills
When that happends
That is when it hurts me much more
Cause I could not tell nor express
Feared of being awkward
Feared of avoided
Feared of being disliked
Feared of being mocked
Thus I painfully kept it to myself
Discreetly I prayed for you every night
Wishing you luck
Wishing you safe
And wishing you happy
Though it hurts me still
Because just to see you smile
Makes me happy everyday
Your the person whom I hate
For causing me so much pain
Yet your the person who I love
Because of who you are
And yet all I want to do is
To tell you how much I really love you
Hope that this day would come true
If this is too much
If this is imposible
All I could ever wish for you
Is all the best
Thou one thing I never regretted
Is to fall for you...
Sunday, June 13, 2004
Moi noir,blanc et rougue livre croquis
->Yenn e Confusionist <-